Yo Mr. DJ…

Yo Mr. DJ,

set the controls for the heart of utopia…the lunatics are coming to take over the asylum…here we go…

Spin those discs…there is a universal orchestra out there and they are conducting a symphony the like of which has never been heard before…just listen…

Ini Kamoze. Calling…

“Calling All Stars”, it’s time to rise up and lead the children home to the new Jerusalem.

Our Bob is talking to you…Get Up Stand Up.

“Only half the story has ever been told…Almighty God is a living man / woman.

Some glutton for punishment sucker with a git weirdo save the world concept died on a cross to save the world for the sinners, not the earth destroying plebs…so who am I?

Well hell…ooo sinners,

I’m Constantine Payne…that is Constant Payne to some…but to my mates I’m Con…or am I?

And riddle my parable, I’m a winner and I’m a sinner who’s to become the dogs dinner!

Am I confusing you?

Don’t worry about it, I confuse myself sometimes…but it all makes sense in the end and that’s a promise.

But if you’re into discovering what there is to discover, just pin your lugs back ’cause my story is coming up.

I was a nicotine addict and a nightly imbiber of the falling down liquid. When my health began to suffer as a result of these habits, or, was it the habits of certain occupants of this sick world that sent my health into freefall? Anyway, I fell into an out of surgery, madcap, often farcical, cycling come therapy relationship with my doctor, the dedicated Dr. McGivitup.

For my part, it’s all down to that God geezer…the omnipresent prankster who loves a good giggle at my mere mortal expense!

As I will reveal He has been pulling my strings for the entirety of my life…stomping His bloody great foot of fate at will…the mysterious old git drove me to the edge of insanity many times!

Then one day He revealed Himself to me good and proper…told me I was His chosen one, put on earth to save the world!

Then He fecked off and left me reeling!

He went into retirement…just like that! And not a bloody word from Him since…well apart from when He puts in a brief appearance, just shows up to fire a well aimed thunder-bolt in my general direction!

And there in lay my problem.

While Gawd Awe bloody Mighty legged it…to Lord it over another planet…one that isn’t such a pain in His Almighty arse as this one is…He left me with an inheritance that resembled damnation alley!

Oh, don’t get me wrong…the Mighty One did arm me with the solution to solving this problem…but who’d listen?

Not one living solitary fecking soul! That’s who!

Yeah okay, I tend to rant and rave about heaven and hell and the meaning of life and the day of judgement and such stuff…I mean, I even know where the son of perdition hangs out!

But was I thanked for attempting to impart my vast knowledge and wisdom?

Was I bollocks!

All I got was…’you need your marbles feeling you do!’ Or, ‘go take a long walk off a short pier you mad cow!’ Or, ‘come back when you’ve got more sense…like sometime never!’

‘Is it cause I is a woman?’ I beseeched…I’d been watching Ali G, ’cause in Is Mighty eyes all are equal…that is why E incarnated me as a woman see…to prove it.’

‘No…it’s because your a fecking headcase…now remove yourself from my vision before I plant you!’

There was no need for that!

‘And I might plant you one day pal…but not in the physical sense cause I is a pacifist…but to give you a clue…I’m thinking tree? And one day in the future kids, you’ll discover a tree that bears the facial features of the Iron Maiden, you know, The Magog Hag…because that’s where I’ll be sending her soul to reside…with the awareness of a human for her sins…but more of that later…

And thus it continued.

A world set on self destruct…the four riders of the apocalypse had spread their wings and were flying unabated. Wars, famines, pestilence and death ran rampant over an already ravaged little earth. Me with the answers to solve it…yet not one living git would take me seriously!

I was in total and abject despair!

Then along came the thunder-bolt that lead me to McGivitup.

And although I initially resented the docs intrusion into my life, I quickly discovered his best mate…an eminent brain surgeon no less…a real trail blazer in his field, was obsessed with the paranormal, to the degree that he was living in anticipation of the saviour coming on the clouds!

He’d seen the signs man!

But clouds…airwaves…where’s the difference?

Lost you again?

Well I happen to know that my life story is written, not only in THE book, but also in the songs of the stars. The stars who have been working on a unconscious spiritual level, sending God given lyrics, that tell my story, through the ether, to the ears of those who dwell on earth. The Almighty Ones grand finale will come about when they get the wake up call.

So is this me coming in on my ass?

My problem however, lay in convincing McGivitup that my story was for real, without getting myself sectioned!

And if you had any idea of what a drug fuelled, FLESH SINNING, (as in thigh), alcohol ridden past I had to reveal, then you might better understand my predicament!

(Revelation 19 v 15 16
And out of his mouth proceedeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness of the wrath of Almighty God.
And he hath on his GARMENT (life work) and on his THIGH a name written, King of Kings, and Lord of Lords.)

I tell you folks, it’s been one epic fecking journey!

Especially as McGivitup, being a man of science, didn’t exactly make life easy. He nit-picked at every turn. In fact, there were moments where I distinctly felt as if he was about to bundle me off into psychiatric care! Until that is…the final chapter of my story…he was so stunned as the enormity of it all sank in, that he careered off course at high speed straight into a tree! I thought I was going to have to give him the kiss of life! When he finally came round he peered at the sky as if he expected the omnipresent One Himself to descend!

Still, once the docs mate got wind of my story he went public…then the shit hit the fan BIG TIME!

I was swamped by the worlds press…who tried to rip me apart because of all the drink and drug fuelled flesh sinning I’d done! But, it caused quite a stir…the real people saw the light…then all the despotic leaders the world over, up to and including Bush, Blair and Cameron, found themselves to be in a very tricky situation as they discovered that all their blasphemy against God…as in using Gods name to carry out the foulest of deeds…had robbed them of their place in Gods book of eternal life…it was the other place they were headed.

It was about then that the children of earth rose up and gave it to these dead men walking loud and clear…they were cast into the living pit of hell…they became the laughing stock of the entire planet…laughed off the powerful pedestals that had sustained their greed begotten existences.

And then our lovely little planet was set on a healing course…a love bug began to run rampant…as greed, corruption, organized religions and all such nonsense, were cast into the realms of history. Our mother earth was restored to the paradise God always intended her to be.

And it all taught the children of earth to fear, not God…but their own actions.

So children of mother earth, now that we are gathered, I’d like to take you on the most brilliant, awe inspiring, magical mystery tour this old world is ever likely to see.

So crew, just fasten your seat belts and prepare for take off because we are going to be travelling faster than the speed of light…or at least it will appear so on reflection! It’ll be, out with the old and in with the new. Save what’s worth saving and damn the rest!

Oh yeah, while I think about it. Mr. Randi, about that ten thousand smackeroo’s your offering to anyone who can prove they have paranormal powers? Well me, I’ve got nothing to prove, but if you would care to view the world with new eyes and take another listen, then I’m sure you will get this incredible urge to get that big fat check posted to Action Aid sharpish like!

And that David Icke eh? Reckons there are going to be GREAT changes in the world over the next while! What a seer of visions man! Spot on David my old son…but how many times do I have to tell you, the earth only moves for sinners! Still, cheers for being a snow plough for the silly cow! Now, where’s my cake?

So, who am I?

You decide.

But I state this, I am here to claim my inheritance which is to be shared, in equality, with every creed, colour, race and nation on mother earth, in peace, love and justice. It is written in THE book and sung by the stars. So stick that in yer pipes and smoke it Mr. Cameron and cronies!

To The Romans. Ch 8 v 17.
And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint heirs with Christ: if so be that we suffer with him, that we may also be glorified with him.

Look who else has been giving voice to prophesy…

Are you going to ride the Holy roller peace train?

Are the immortal children of darkness going to climb out of their coffins to dance on judgement day while symbolically extracting the blood from the jugulars of the destructive ones by telling them how it really is? That unless they turn their backs on the wickedness they weave and begin making amends for all their nefarious workings like bats out of hell, then they will need to contemplate the vastness of the universe because when they shuffle off their mortal coils they WILL reap all they have sown! There are innumerable planets out there in varying degrees of evolution, some evolved to heavenly states of bliss, others not so! The ship of fools continue to destroy Gods creation and His beloved children at their own peril!

I Have Always Been Here Before. And I am selling souls So, would any one care to buy a portion of a dodgy poli-trick-ians future soul travel? Hehehe!

Also give an ear to CJ Bolland…The Prophet. Oh yes…I say who gets in and who doesn’t. They can run but they can not hide! I own their immortal souls…

Take a look see at who else sold their souls to the devil…hehehe…Bob Dylan and Eminem to name but two…but I happen to know they only loaned theirs out for the greater good…they read the script and saw it was good and handed over their souls. Thanks lads, much appreciated.

Yes Mr. Cameron and cronies, the dead WILL dance on judgement day and lead the world towards the glorious healing? There WILL be dancing in the streets? And the legions of angelic/demonic
‘whatever ‘ songsters are going to lead us in that dance. The sad WILL smile again. The meek WILL inherit the earth…blah…

So come children of darkness…follow me and discover wonders to behold…

Even The Prince of Darkness Himself, Ozzy, has lent his voice in prophesy…

Yours most sincerely,

Constantine Payne.


SO…what you waiting for? MOVE…there’s a world to save…

And yes all you energy company bosses who refuse to ditch your multi million pound bonus packages while the rest of us will have to choose between warmth or food this coming winter, if you haven’t already guessed, you are the evil ones and I AM talking to you!


I OWN your immortal souls for the rest of all eternity…mwwwhahaha…so you’d better start being nice to the elderly and the poor. It’s time you and your greed ridden, heartless ilk showed a bit of empathy…because believe me, you will pay the price if you don’t, you WILL reap all you have sown! Ahhh yes…the universe is VAST and I am the master…mistress…I’m hermaphrodite see…I can be whatever I want to be…but not all at once you understand…in this life I’m female…in another life I was male…and here are a few members of the universal orchestra singing it again…’oh in another world, yeah he would wear a dress’…that reminds me, I must give up the smokes…oh yeah I already did!

Take the wine from the swine and remind him of his crimes???!!! And you can feck off… I raise my bottle of red wine to the world…sleeping juice okay? With all your feckin lives and infinity in the palm of my hand, ask Dreadzone…

…my head won’t stop buzzing unless it is saturated in wine okay? I might have been naughty in one department…but I’ve even cracked that one…that old last temptation! And oh boy what a battle and a half that was! I’ve given up smoking more times than some of you have had hot dinners! I’m what you might call the original addict! Like this is the person that went to New York with Steve Wright…yeah, the Steve Wright formerly of radio one fame, now of radio two…but I’ll reveal all soon enough being the sinner I am…(Corinthians 2 Ch 5 v 21. Him who knew no sin he made to be sin on our behalf; that we might become the righteous of God in him.)…sorry Stevie babes but your numbers up, it’s the revelations game we’re playing here. Anyway, needless to say, I spent this outrageously brilliant weekend with Steve Wright but…while on the outbound ‘eight!’ hour flight, travelling ambassador of course, only the best will do when travelling with Stevie babes, we were shoved into a none smoking bit! Just as well really ’cause some idiot had left her baccy and skins in the bags that went where she didn’t! I tell you, I would have gone absolutely screwball raving bonkers if some bastard had sat there blowing smoke in my face when I couldn’t blow it anywhere! This is no word of a lie, by the time we got to Kennedy I was on my knees, I was gasping! Now this is where I really showed my companion up! I started eying up all the tab ends on the floor…rich place America…it was hell…all that weed floating about down there and me absolutely desperate for a fix of the stuff! I just said, “look pal, it’s like this, if you don’t find a fag machine pretty damn soon, I’m gonna start groveling on the floor smoking butt ends!”. It must have been said with conviction and the backing of eight hours solid whine because I was believed. All I saw was a pair of heels hurtling into the distance, then a pair of toe caps coming back! I never looked up see…I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the veritable little gold mine that was mine if the fag machine search proved futile! I even stamped on a tramps hand when he got his sweaty mits too close to what I considered my stash! But, toes caps appeared, goal was achieved…seven fags later, all at once, I found composure…now that is what I call addiction!!! And if I can give that up…all on my tod…well nearly all on my tod…I did have a heavy git leaning on me…but if I can give that up with the weight of you lot and the world on my shoulders…you lot can give up oil…oh YES you fecking CAN…oil IS destroying mother earth…it causes wars and all sorts of nasty shit…but…there is an alternative…hemp. Henry Ford built and fueled his first car out of hemp…here’s one from the universal orchestra singing it…and it is even written in the Magi’s hand book…as our Rasta family knows…

Here’s our Matthew singing it…

Revelation.Ch. 22.

And he shewed me a river of water of life, bright as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb, In the midst of the street thereof. And on this side of the river and on that was the tree of life, bearing twelve manner of fruits, yeilding its fruit every month: and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. (hemp also absorbs radiation).

And here is a man who was on a mission for God to tell the truth about hemp…

But the nicotine junkie with the mystical machine gun is still here…here’s Kula Shaker and Arthur Brown the old God of Hell Fire telling it…”DONT PANIC…it’s just the end of the world”…only Arthur Brown, who landed on earth in the same Gothic town and under the same Gothic Abbey as I did, isn’t The God of Hell Fire, I am. And I say it is the end of the world of war, violence and destruction, that the greed ridden war mongers have created because they’re off to inhabit the hell they create, for the rest of all ETERNITY if they refuse to turn their backs on their wicked ways and begin healing the mother they have been destroying for their own selfish ends…

However, please excuse my habitual going off on tangents. Do you know what tangent means? No? Well don’t worry about it because neither do I, I just burble, all this high brow stuff is beyond me…but there you go, God is pretty high brow an’ I’m just his mouth piece so for Christ’s sake don’t ask me what it’s all about ’cause I haven’t a bleedin’ clue! I’m just a puppet on His long piece of string!
An yeah, did I tell you there was a time when I nearly snuffed it? Like have you heard of the white rabbit? He’s always racing against time, well that was me, that is me, racing, racing, racing, always attempting to get there yesterday! Burning the candle at both ends and in the middle! Doing physically hard graft to earn minimum wage to survive Babylon. Work on saving the world from said Babylon. Party…got to party…apart from doing your bit to help your brothers and sisters to enjoy a pleasant experience on earth…it’s all about the party and having a good time with your pals. It’s called living. And again do physically hard graft to earn minimum wage to survive Babylon. Work on saving the world from said Babylon. Party……bottles, bottles, filter tips, number 666. So is this me coming in on my ass?

But yeah all you self-serving, greed ridden, black hearted swines, the universe is fecking humongous you know…and it all belongs to me…it’s my inheritance from Big Daddy…and from now on I am only sharing it with decent people who care about their brothers and sisters on earth and with them I share in equality. Therefore all the evil hearted, pitiless, ruthless, gluttonous humanoids, who exploit the earth and their brothers and sisters under heaven for their own self-serving ends…when you eventually shuffle off your mortal coil, as we all do one day, you will discover your names are to be deleted from the book of eternal life…unless of course, you change your ways, which I doubt, so therefore you will be installed into the food chain…some with the retained awareness of a humanoid for your crimes against Gods creation and his children therein. And you all thought you were accountable to no one…what a ship of fools you are…

…mwwwhahaha…you can run but you can NOT hide…I am immortal…so not one of you can escape from my punishment…and I am even more powerful on the other side…so just wait until I get you murderous and destructive, self-seeking little bastards home!!!

As S. John Ch 12 v 47 says…
And if any man hear my sayings, and keep them not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.
He that rejecteth me, and receiveth not my sayings, hath one that judgeth him: the word that I spake, the same shall judge him in the last days.
For I spake not for myself; but the Father which sent me, he hath given me a commandment, what I should speak.
And I know that his commandment is life eternal: the things therefore which I speak, even as the Father hath said unto me, so I speak.

And finally…

Matthew 11 v 19. The son of man came eating and drinking, and they say, behold, a gluttonous man and wine bibber, a friend of the publicans and sinners. And wisdom is justified by HER works. 😉


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