So what was the outcome of my revelations?
Well, Dave Rolence, the docs mate, the eminent brain surgeon, had been busy scribbling away, incorporating my story with his own findings concerning the heavenly mystery of the end of the age. Such stuff as, S. Luke. Ch 21 v 10. Nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. Acts Ch 2 v 20. The sun shall be turned into darkness, And the moon into blood, Before the day of the Lord come, That great and notable day. blah de blah. Being a world famous medical man, he had no trouble getting himself into the media spotlight. And that was when everything went ape shit.
I was bombarded by the worlds media machine, to whom I passed on Gods final warning, which they spread to the four corners. You know the stuff…this is the end of the age as has been long prophesied in many different forms down the long reaches of time…Hopi, Mayan, Lakota to name but a few. And just to prove the end of the war mongering, wicked, unjustified world is nigh…here I am, wrapped in the wondrous, awesome, mystery of Gods making, come to usher in the new world. The new world where peace and love shall shine brightly. The new world where people work together for the common good of all. The new world which restores our sad old mother earth to her former glory. The new world where words like greed and corruption, murder and misery are just words that belong to that grossly wicked old worlds history.
But, what else happens at the end of the age? The good go to eternal life, the wicked to eternal death. Although it’s not quite as clear cut as that. Imagine if you will a circle. All the pure souls reside at the top of the circle, while the grossly evil ones are at the very bottom. The rest are in between. Now imagine the equator region of the circle, that’s the cut off point for human reincarnation, go below the equator and your life force becomes another aspect of our living planet, be it animal, plant or whatever…but, dependent of actions on earth, the equator region will see a lot of coming and going as soul debts are paid and souls are given another chance at human life. It was time to sort the wheat from the chaff!
Aeroplanes and private earth polluting cars were taxed into oblivion and hemp became the fuel of the world. Because not only is it written in the book, it’s also sung about.
The vast business of transporting food stuff from one end of the globe to the other was brought back down to earth as locally sourced produce came to the fore. All the robbing multi-nationals and banks etcetera started ploughing the billions upon billions they’d thieved off the backs of the populace back into renewable energy sources, the ones who refused discovered themselves turned to dust. All the evil task masters who employed dirt cheap third world child labour to fill their filthy coffers found themselves on the streets as down and outs as the populace wised up to the horrific conditions these children had been expected to work under, the long hours, the filthy often toxic states of existence that was the only way their families could survive the dire poverty in which they were forced to live. The health of these children was ruined to line the pockets of heartless profiteers who knew exactly what they were doing. They didn’t care that they were exploiting innocent children for their own gain, they believed they had no one to answer too but themselves. Well weren’t they shocked? Because unlike the churches and the man manipulated religions would have you believe, you do not simply have to sign up to them to have your wicked acts absolved, it’s not as simple as that. If you have committed an evil deed, the natural law of the universe will demand you pay for it at some point. No one can avoid the natural law, not even me, it will always catch up with you in the end and issue justice.
The children were taught all the deeper workings of the spirit…like how it takes allsorts to make the world tick, from bin men to Kings, from doctors and nurses to footballers and songsters, from farmers to artists, but whatever one does in life, all are equal, the world needs a whole variety of skills and whatever yours happens to be, it will be important…And all those kids that aspired to be the next best footballer or the next best superstar or whatever, were taught truthfully that if they did their best and lived a good and productive life, accepting with good grace any soul debts that might have to be paid, then the next time round they will be free to choose what form their next incarnation will take…although be careful what you wish for kids, some things are not all they’re cracked up to be! But you know when someone you love dearly passes over to the other side, then shortly afterwards a pet or some wild creature makes its presence felt in your life? It’s your loved one filling time while staying close to you! Imagine it…soaring the skies as a bird, or being a pampered pet while you pass time waiting for your friends before you begin planning future incarnations all over again! And that is the fate of the saved. The rest will, before they pop their earthly clogs this time round, begin to take on the appearance of what they are to become…some gave the impression they were ‘branching out!’ Others came across as slightly quackers! Yet others never stopped bleating. Blah.
Still, I fleeced Fleet Street and made shed loads of money out of them and the rest of the worlds press. I gave most of it away to go towards ensuring that every living person had access to clean water, while tooling them up, not as our governments had done in the past, with weapons to kill each other but, with equipment that aided them to work the land so that they could feed themselves. They were also tooled up with knowledge of how best to work with nature, not against it. As Mini Me had once pointed out. What’s the difference between humans and animals? Animals adapt to their surroundings, while humans adapt their surroundings to suit them! We need to begin working alongside nature again, not abuse it for fleeting profit. Nature needs a helping hand to regain all that has been destroyed by the merchants of greed. And once my own family needs had been catered for, I put the fortune my story amassed into working to rebuild woods and forests and all kind of things that helped mother nature thrive again.
I started something of a trend, it became cool for the earth bound stars to give away trucks full of money to spread around the poorer parts of the globe, either that or they were scared shitless in case I might turn them into a frog or some such if they didn’t.. because they knew it was within my power to do so if I so desired! The amounts of money some had squandered while children died horrific deaths for want of a little food in their bellies…some were desperate to make amends before they gave up their ghosts to the eternal and me!
However, it wasn’t long before the entire globe got into doing their own individual bits to save our precious little mother earth. Things did get worse before they started to get better as regarded the weather and natural, or is that man provoked, natural disasters? Because you can’t change such a horrific mess, that years of abject abuse has wrought, overnight. But trees got planted in their billions and billions, as the populace woke up to the fact that trees are the magical ingredient the planet needs in order to thrive. Not only is the wood they offer carbon neutral for energy purposes, but when planted around mountains and built up areas, they act as a cooling system, so combating global warming. They sustain our lives and our planet in a thousand and one practical ways. Trees, as southern England discovered, enhance rainfall by cooling the land and slowing wind evaporation, by their very nature they attracted rainfall. They are the lungs of the earth drawing in carbon dioxide from the air and releasing oxygen. They provide a million and one fruits, spices and medicines…where do you suppose chocolate comes from? They re-fertilise the land with their leaf fall every season. As the world woke up to the vital importance of trees to our planet they became things of worship, and rightly so. We began to breathe real, fresh, beautifully scented air again.
Horses and pushbikes made an incredible comeback as private cars were sent to the scrap heap to be recycled into caravan like static homes, for those who needed them, like the thousands of homeless who had previously and shamefully been brushed under the carpet by those in power. The victims of natural disasters also benefited from the temporary homes, as did the refugees who were created by the war mongers!
The populace woke up to the fact that the world had survived for millions of years without the need for chemicals and pesticides and such like. They realised that everything had begun to go ape shit with the coming of the industrial revolution and started to oust all the nasties in favour of the natural.
On a personal level, I was invited to take part in ‘I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here’. Only I had to change things around a bit didn’t I. I put a stop to all those totally shit impractical challenges, in favour of ones that fit in with the real world, challenges that taught the watchers a thing or two about genuine survival, sort of pioneer style. Naturally I got to chose who went in with me. My family first and foremost obviously, I wanted to see them perform menial tasks, not something I’ve witnessed very often! Johnny Depp for Mini Me, because she is actually a cracking little worker, so I called in a star for my beautiful star girl. Although I did insist he spent the whole episode dressed like his alter ego Jack Sparrow. And that was when I began cursing Him upstairs again. It just wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t I have come across this bit of top totty when I was in the sins of the flesh phase of my life? He could have swashed my buckle any day! Then I invited Eminem, primarily for Jah, although I don’t know why, if you saw the state of his bedroom! It’s just as well he is one of the nicest, kindest, most sensible, lovable teenagers you could ever wish to meet…did I mention he’s a cheeky little git as well? But yeah, by the end of it I’d adopted Eminem as my own because I’ve loved him for years. I also made sure Johnny Lydon was dragged back in again kicking and screaming, just because The Top Dog and I like him. We even got the fat lad Vegas to come, although we had to promise vast quantities of alcohol. But, while we were in there, you’ll never guess what challenge the bastards set for me? They only told me I had to go into a herd, a whole fucking herd, of cattle, bull included, to milk a cow! Needless to say no one ate that night…I told them not to worry though, a bit of fasting is good for the soul! It wasn’t very good for mine however, when they all decided they were going to go cannibal…I had to stay awake all night, they vowed the minute I shut my eyes I’d be on the menu!
Then I got invited to take part in Strictly Come Dancing. Now when that show is on, I’m a total addict. I love dancing. But while your merely a viewer, you’re always living in expectation of one of the competitors going flat on their arses and sliding ungainly across the floor with legs akimbo. Well okay, maybe that’s only me! But you know what they say about being careful what you think? Well be ultra careful. I took up the challenge even though all that choreography does my head in, I prefer doing my own thing, going where the music takes me, naturally. So guess who went sliding across the floor on her arse in front of millions with legs akimbo?
And as for me and my nicotine habit, that old final temptation. After giving up innumerable times, I’d go back for a quick binge when the old brain cells refused to function. My brain frequently went into meltdown without its nicotine hit, causing me to panic like fuck as I visualised the mad bastard sons and daughters of Satan finally blowing our beautiful little planet earth to smithereens before I made my presence felt. Still, once I’d conquered the mountain that had been mine to climb and reached my destination, I gave up once and for all time…well in this incarnation anyway! Instead I became a serious passive smoker. I was often to be found perched on the shoulder of some unsuspecting smoker inhaling deeply!
Back in the world, the Grim Reaper came into his own. Because whereas the good people on earth are met on their passing into spirit by their loved ones that have gone before. The wicked, those who put their faith in gold, those who rode rough shod over the earth and its peoples to fill their own filthy coffers, the murderers, all who refused to turn their backs on their evil and wicked ways, were met on their passing by the Grim Reaper and his sickle. His sickle being the instrument that severed their umbilical cord that had once been their attachment to The Most High once and for all time. Many squirmed and screamed their horror in the streets before they were wrenched out of their bodies by Grim to be sent to suffer eternal damnation in the pits of hell! But not before the good people on earth gave them sever grief by pointing at them and hissing them off the streets like the snakes in the grass they are. They also discovered that the money they had hoarded wasn’t edible.
As for the massive changes that were wrought as regarded building a fair for all system. It was a case of saving what was worth saving and damning the rest. But the populace were sensible enough to do that in the controlled manner I taught them. They chose the methodology that ensured the needy didn’t come to harm. And that wise old man Tony Benn’s words were finally heeded when the nations worked together to dismantle every last nuclear plant.
Then one day I just danced myself right out of my body. It wasn’t until the music stopped that I realised what had happened. And if the wicked who were left on earth thought it was a time to rejoice because the source of their torment had departed…they were wrong…they were very wrong…if they thought I was dangerous on earth, it was as nothing to what I became in spirit! I haunted them, I got into their heads, right in, I drove them insane. Once I was flying free in my natural home, one that has no restrictions, at least no restrictions for someone as perfect as me, it’s mental, you can be in a million places at once…its awesome…and me and my pals, the odd few who had achieved the highest of high, had a ball giving hell to the hellish!
But finally children of earth, I beseech you…and this is really important. Just say NO to organized religion! Not only does it fuck with your head…it ruins lives! Just take a look down the long reaches of time to witness the sickening horrors that have been inflicted on innocent lives through the zealous madness of those who were embroiled in organized religion. Or, more to the point, those who used organized religion for their own devious ends!
I am here to declare that God does not need praise…He knows how good He is! The only thing that God asks of you is that you live in peace with one another, do your best in life, be happy, follow your own path and restore and respect His beloved planet earth.
Yeah okay, maybe the events described in this tale didn’t occur in the time structure specified! I drew on artistic licence okay? But rest assured, The Book WILL be fulfilled…so I’d be righting wrongs and doing the correct thing rapid like if I were you workers of evil because the central message of this story is real, very real.
Finally, one day I opened my front door to be met by the worlds press. I had a pint wine glass full of the red stuff in one hand and a foot long dunston in the other. “Look lads an’ lasses…I’m down to one a day,” I slurred before stating, “just call me ‘the’ martyr. I’m the last suicide bomber whose long drawn out, yet exquisitly ‘painful?’ demise shall leave shrapnel ricocheting around the planet forever more.” 🙂