Hi, I’m Constantine Payne…that is Constant Payne to some…but to my mates I’m Con…or am I?
And riddle my parable, I’m a winner and I’m a sinner who’s to become the dogs dinner!
Am I confusing you?
Don’t worry about it, I confuse myself sometimes…but it all makes sense in the end and that’s a promise.
But if you’re into discovering what there is to discover, just pin your lugs back ’cause my story is coming up.
I was a nicotine addict and a nightly imbiber of the falling down liquid. When my health began to suffer as a result of these habits, or, was it the habits of certain occupants of this sick world that sent my health into freefall? Anyway, I fell into an out of surgery, madcap, often farcical, cycling come therapy relationship with my doctor, the dedicated Dr. McGivitup.
For my part, it’s all down to that God geezer…the omnipresent prankster who loves a good giggle at my mere mortal expense!
As I will reveal He has been pulling my strings for the entirety of my life…stomping His bloody great foot of fate at will…the mysterious old git drove me to the edge of insanity many times!
Then one day He revealed Himself to me good proper…told me I was His chosen one, put on earth to save the world!
Then He fecked off and left me reeling!
He went into retirement…just like that! And not a bloody word from Him since…well apart from when He puts in a brief appearance, just shows up to fire a well aimed thunder-bolt in my general direction!
And there in lay my problem.
While Gawd Awe bloody Mighty legged it…to Lord it over another planet…one that isn’t such a pain in His Almighty arse as this one is…He left me with an inheritance that resembled damnation alley!
Oh, don’t get me wrong…the Mighty One did arm me with the solution to solving this problem…but who’d listen?
Not one living solitary fecking soul! That’s who!
Yeah okay, I tend to rant and rave about heaven and hell and the meaning of life and the day of judgement and such stuff…I mean, I even know where the son of perdition hangs out!
But was I thanked for attempting to impart my vast knowledge and wisdom?
Was I bollocks!
All I got was…’you need your marbles feeling you do!’ Or, ‘go take a long walk off a short pier you mad cow!’ Or, ‘come back when you’ve got more sense…like sometime never!’
‘Is it cause I is a woman?’ I beseeched…I’d been watching Ali G…
…’cause in Is Mighty eyes all are equal…that is why E incarnated me to be a wicked woman see…to prove it.’
‘No…it’s because your a fecking headcase…now remove yourself from my vision before I plant you!’
There was no need for that!
‘And I might plant you one day pal…but not in the physical sense cause I is a pacifist…but to give you a clue…I’m thinking tree? And one day in the future kids, you’ll discover a tree that bears the facial features of the Iron Maiden, you know, The Magog Hag…because that’s where I’ll be sending her soul to reside…with the awareness of a human for her sins…but more of that later…
And thus it continued.
A world set on self destruct…the four riders of the apocalypse had spread their wings and were flying unabated. Wars, famines, pestilence and death ran rampant over an already ravaged little earth. Me with the answers to solve it…yet not one living git would take me seriously!
I was in total and abject despair!
Then along came the thunder-bolt that lead me to McGivitup.
And although I initially resented the docs intrusion into my life, I quickly discovered his best mate…an eminent brain surgeon no less…a real trail blazer in his field, was obsessed with the paranormal, to the degree that he was living in anticipation of the saviour coming on the clouds!
He’d seen the signs man!
But clouds…airwaves…where’s the difference?
Lost you again?
Well I happen to know that my life story is written, not only in THE book, but also in the songs of the stars. The stars who have been working on a unconscious spiritual level, sending God given lyrics, that tell my story, through the ether, to the ears of those who dwell on earth. The Almighty Ones grand finale will come about when they get the wake up call.
My problem however, lay in convincing McGivitup that my story was for real, without getting myself sectioned!
And if you had any idea of what a drug fuelled, FLESH SINNING, (as in thigh), alcohol ridden past I had to reveal, then you might better understand my predicament!
(Revelation 19 v 15 16 And out of his mouth proceedeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness of the wrath of Almighty God. And he hath on his GARMENT (life work) and on his THIGH a name written, King of Kings, and Lord of Lords.)
So is this me coming in on my ass?
I tell you folks, it’s been one epic fecking journey!
Especially as McGivitup, being a man of science, didn’t exactly make life easy. He nit-picked at every turn. In fact, there were moments where I distinctly felt as if he was about to bundle me off into psychiatric care! Until that is…the final chapter of my story…he was so stunned as the enormity of it all sank in, that he careered off course at high speed straight into a tree! I thought I was going to have to give him the kiss of life! When he finally came round he peered at the sky as if he expected the omnipresent One Himself to descend!
Still, once the docs mate got wind of my story he went public…then the shit hit the fan BIG TIME!
I was swamped by the worlds press…who tried to rip me apart because of all the drink and drug fuelled flesh sinning I’d done! But, it caused quite a stir…the real people saw the light…then all the despotic leaders the world over, up to and including Bush and Blair, found themselves to be in a very tricky situation as they discovered that all their blasphemy against God…as in using Gods name to carry out the foulest of deeds…had robbed them of their place in Gods book of eternal life…it was the other place they were headed.
It was about then that the children of earth rose up and gave it to these dead men walking loud and clear…they were cast into the living pit of hell…they became the laughing stock of the entire planet…laughed off the powerful pedestals that had sustained their greed begotten existences.
(James 5 v 1-6 Go to now, ye rich, weep and howl for your miseries that are coming upon you. Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are moth eaten. Your gold and your silver are rusted; and their rust shall be for a testimony against you, and shall eat your flesh as fire. Ye have laid up your treasure in the last days. Behold, the hire of the labourers who mowed your fields, which is of you kept back by fraud, crieth out: and the cries of them that reaped have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth. Ye have lived delicately on the earth, and taken your pleasure; ye have nourished your hearts in a day of slaughter. Ye have condemned, ye have killed the righteous one; he doth not resist thee. Be patient therefore, brethren, until the coming of the Lord.)
And then our lovely little planet was set on a healing course…a love bug began to run rampant…as greed, corruption, organized religions and all such nonsense, were cast into the realms of history. Our mother earth was restored to the paradise God always intended her to be.
And it all taught the children of earth to fear, not God…but their own actions.
So children of mother earth, now that we are gathered, I’d like to take you on the most brilliant, awe inspiring, magical mystery tour this old world is ever likely to see.
So crew, just fasten your seat belts and prepare for take off because we are going to be travelling faster than the speed of light…or at least it will appear so on reflection! It’ll be, out with the old and in with the new. Save what’s worth saving and damn the rest!
Oh yeah, while I think about it. Mr. Randi, about that ten thousand smackeroo’s your offering to anyone who can prove they have paranormal powers? Well me, I’ve got nothing to prove, but if you would care to view the world with new eyes and take another listen, then I’m sure you will get this incredible urge to get that big fat check posted to Action Aid sharpish like!
And that David Icke eh? Reckons there are going to be GREAT changes in the world over the next while! What a seer of visions man! Spot on David my old son…but how many times do I have to tell you, the earth only moves for sinners! Still, cheers for being a snow plough for the silly cow! Now, where’s my cake?
However, to some I am the God of Hell Fire…
and I bring you…
Revelation. Chapter 1 v 18.
I am he that liveth, and was dead; and behold, I am alive for ever more, A-men;
and I have the keys of HELL and DEATH.
You see some glutton for punishment sucker with a git weirdo save the world concept died
on a cross to save sinners NOT the earth and people destroying plebs.
When Jah Jah rise they gonna feel the rod. They can’t stop the I and I is full of Ire but it’s all gonna be Irie…
So come on sinners let’s put the rev in the revolution and head towards world war free…
Robin Hood…Robin Hood…
“Every body, stay calm, it’s just the end of the world.” So sings the other one who landed
on earth beneath the shadow of the Abbey, the other God of Hell Fire Arthur Brown.
But the mystical machine gun is ready to fire…
I of the I and I will ‘chase the crazy bump heads out of town and take on
Babylon them evil boys pound for pound’.
We’re rising and rising…
Let’s get loud, loud, loud…
One thing ’bout music. When it hits you feel no pain…yeah? 😉
It’s bigger than hip hop…
Give a little bit…
We’re not going to sit in silence, we’re not going to live with fear…we are the voices.
So who am I?